My Unique world

Monday, October 02, 2006

Puppies and their side-effect

Well I gotta give a shout out to my main man Ryan Shinska seeing how he gave me the same honor, Ryan also has a recent blog, where u can get all your Detroit Sports news, he speaks the truth, WORD!!!!! http://shinsk.blogspot.com/

Well, anyways as you all know I am not the biggest fan of cats, however I do quite adore their four legged nemisis, and no I am not talking about that little special kid with 4 legs who bite cat's tails, you know the nuclear power plant side effect, I am talking about dogs silly, man your an ass for thiniking i was talkin about "my mom says I am special Melvin" Well any who, I am a big dog guy, Man's best friend how can I not love dogs. I dont know if you know this but when dogs are little and young they are called puppies, don't really know why, you'd figure they would be named something that has to deal with the word dog. Like duppies, but whatev. As I said dogs are great, well once they are potty trained, house broken if you will. I hate when I wake up and place my naked feet in warm, wet freshly squeezed dog piss, i fucking hate that. Other than that dogs are all good. Puppies are cool too, but they have huge side effects. Something weird happens to a man's voice, it gets higher pitched , and softer and for some reason they cannot anunciate properly, and they sound like a baby. They start calling the animal pet names like cutesy wutsey, cuddly wuddly. They start using adjectives like awwwww (very high pitched), isnt he special. And if you do something manly to the animal, like spinning it in a circle till it pukes, they call you a jerk, what's that about!?!?! I am talking about heterosexual men, acting like this ridiculous friggin ridiculous. It's like puppies have poison in their breath, but the poison doesnt kill you it just turns your gay. Puppies' side effect is extreme gayness. I will be honest every now and then I get wussified by a puppy, but the effects are not long lasting, and I am not gay. I love the little bastards they can seriously gay a dude up real quick. That's pretty much all I have to say about that. Puppies can turn the baddest M-F'er gay, and if any of you ever say it never happened to you, that means you are already gay so the puppies had no effect. Have a good fuckin Day

If you read this leave a comment so I know, i could be one letter

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Great Idea, that comes Complete with Marketing Idea

Well this blog stems from the fact that I am a larger than average man, yes a man and all man. So I have larger hands. I have a laptop/notebook, whatever. When I type on something like IM or just friggin type anything, I hit multiple letters at on time so it comes out like I am Stephen Hawkings with with a horrible shake . So I proposed the idea that a company make a laptop with a larger keyboard something that is more the size of a regular keyboard. I think it is a fantastic Idea. And to make everyone else think it is a Great idea I proposed a great commercial. Here is the commercial

The commercial starts with an ogre/goblin some huge hideous creature sitting in a park (central parkish appearance). The ogre, though hideous, is sophisticated and he is writing his poetry, (Green the color of love, warts, just more for the lovin) classy stuff he is writing. However, do to the fact the ogre has large fingers he just can't hit the friggin "F" button fg FG FG GF FG FD FD DF, Damn small keypads, The ogre Lets out a tremendous roar, and flips his friggin lid. Hurls his laptop into the park, (taking out two homosexual roller bladers wearing unnessecarily short hot pink shorts, and oiled up, eww) He goes storming through the park in a fit of blind rage, Tossing puppeteers and dancers to-and-fro. Using one bum to beat down a brigade of bums, and crushing human robots. He leaves the park and takes is tirade to the city crushing windows, using meters like bats to whack their maids, pushing the hell out of a wheelchair basketball ball player sending himoff like a drag racer. He is reaking havoc. He picks up an old lady and is about to toss he into a store window when he notices that it has an advertisement for a notebook with a larger Keyboard. The Ogre's head tilts in amazment, and he begins to smile, (but that old lady is goin friggin nuts, like she's about to have an aneurysm).

(Cut scene back to screen of a laptop with a finished poem)

(warts, just more for the lovin) pan out and the Ogre has a huge shrek like grin on his face, a butterfly rest on his finger and a dove on his shoulder. Thats when you cut to the name of laptop and company, " A larger keypad makes everyones life a little easier"

Thats my idea and commercial your thoughts? comment if there are any misspellings it is because the keypad is too friggn small. just make it already

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Video Games and Women

So, sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, I have been really busy, you know with sleeping watching TV, and video games. A thing about video games if you have anger managment issues or a heart problem you do not want to play them, they may break you hand or quite possibly kill, there should be a disclaimer on them. "warning may cause extreme fits of rage and extreme spikes in blood pressure". I walked in on a friend, a friend, a friend of mine, and he was playing the new NCAA 2007 game , you with R-Bush on the cover, well anyways before entering I heard a bunch of swearing and grunts, and "this game is F-ing cheatin me, everytime i play this team, everything works for them and nothing works for me, F-ing garbage, I F-ing hate this game, aaaaarrrrrrrgh", (like a pirate). Well if he hates it why doesn't he stop playing it, simple he doesn't hate it, he actually loves it. Anything that can get a grown ass man to act like a child is something he loves. Which pretty much brings me to my point i dont really know how i got to this point but i did. Video and Woman are very similar, All men love women even homosexuals, I dont need to tell you why heteros like women but homos do cuz they relate and are accepted, but a women can make a man act like a child, just like video games. So when a woman/girl buys her man a video she essential introduces her competition to him, its like me going up to my girlfriend and saying here I bought you this guy who looks like brad Pitt, Denzel, T-Cruise w/o the crazy, Greg Hawthorne ;-). insert generic hot guy, with every personality trait you like, for that is wut a video game is. You can turn her off when she annoys you, you can always have a do over, eversince the memeory card. you dont have to take her on dates yet she will still pleasure you for hours with out you having to reciprocate the perfect woman. Well all I know is that I would never buy my lady friend a perfect mate in which for me to compete, one i like her too much and two it would be too expensive. Well anyway thats how I feel. have a nice day!!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Cats, who likes them??

Real quick thoughts on cats, well actually before that have any of you seen the word quick spelled "quik", why does anyone do this? I mean I am as lazy as the next guy but how hard is it to type a c? a friggin c. Well any ways I hate cats I thing that they are all that is wrong in society, evil creatures, the epitimy of evil and solice there is nothing good a bout these creatures, they steal souls i just hate cats. So i brought my thoughts up to my friend, who informed me that he had this conversion not more than 2 days ago with another group of friends, and this raises the question on who on this earth likes cats other old people and just all around animals lovers. The comment on dislike of cats went all the way to the fact a friend hates a person who likes cats more than cats themselves based on principle and standards. I personally cats so much that if someone super hot say, Scarlett Johansson, Shakira, Keyra Augustine, Jessica Kennedy, Beyonce, generic hot chick) were to come to me and let me know they want to do unholy things to me in ways that I could not even fathom yet they enjoyed the company of these fuckin felines, I would have to say no, outright no. I mean they might as well have a penis, I dislike cats that much. Well thats just my thoughts have a nice day

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

"The Hills" Hurts people

So this is the actually numero eins intro. I dont know what to actually write during the day you know I figured I had a bunch of stuff to put down, but when it comes time to perform I go limp lik3 Rafeal Palmiero. Hmmmm...maybe this will work, i stubbed my toe today...two things about it 1. quite possibly the shittiest injury based on the pain and stupity being the main aspects of the scale.. 2. I stubbed it on my own weights which add insults to injury not only that but about 10 minutes before that I was going to get up and get the remote control for the TV, and finally change it off of Cheyenne, I was watching it for like twenty minutes, i hate that show, but i had already sat down so I was just too lazy to get up and change the channel you know how that is. hence the lowercase i's i am too lazy to hit the shift bar "its way on the other side of the keyboard"..well anyways 1o minutes before the stub i was telling myself when you get the remote dont friggin hit the weights, watch the weights, keep your eyes on the weights, and overcourse i end up getting into the Show for the last ten minutes and forgetting about the weights and then Hills came on which I would rather castrate myself with a knife from barbies doll house than watch so i hurled my body out of the chair to get to the remote as fast as possible, and in the process I friggin stub my toe and as i said it hurt, yes i cursed my stupid weight for being such a jerk. We made up later??

Oh yea HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY BITCHES!!!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Entry numero eins

My first blog, lets see how many times it gets updated, is it gay if this is like my diary? Alright caio